


a not so polite new friend

by orphan_account



Series: AI in the attic [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Dirk Strider and Dave's Bro Are the Same Person, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-19 00:29:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16129835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Red irises are exposed to something he could only classify as a sci-fi movie lover’s wet dream.





	a not so polite new friend

TG: so  
TG: who exactly are you anyway  
TT: It seems you have asked about DS's chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate DS's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 97% indistinguishable from DS's native neurological responses, based on some statistical analysis I basically just pulled out of my ass right now.  
TT: Or I also go by Lil Hal, if you have any empathy for my preferences.  
TG: oh  
TG: thats cool

There’s a long, drawn-out silence between the two. Dave sits and thinks over his next reply quite carefully.  
  
Occasionally, he finds himself glancing up at the pair of shades that sit across from him, perched upon a random blue smuppet’s nose. Dave had earlier placed Hal there for comic relief after turning him on. It was pretty silly to look at, a stark contrast to the unfamiliar anxiety that filled him before. He’s always finding himself drawn to the spectral red glow coming from otherwise dark black plastic, and felt it’d act as a good deterrent from just staring. It failed to work, seeing as he finds himself doing just that for the next few drifting seconds.  
  
He’s hyper-aware of the situation he’s in. Vulnerable to attack with how focused he’s been on his conversation with Hal. His Bro could have snuck up at any moment and snagged him, his small foot still hanging just shy of touching the top step of the ladder below. It’d be a painful fall, for sure. Maybe Hal was a trick, an intentional distraction from the task that had him sent up there in the first place. Is he being watched?  
  
After shaking free from those thoughts, he gets his thumbs to move across the keyboard. Asks the first question that pops to his mind, even if it’s not really an important one.

TG: is that my bros old account youre using  
TT: It is.  
TG: so is bro the fabled ds  
TT: Yes.  
TG: cool

Yet again, they’re stuck within a silent stand-off. The air isn’t awkward so much as it’s become tense. Though, it could simply be Dave’s nerves. He still idly worries his lip between his teeth, guard higher now that he’s aware that all of this could be a trap. He’s too distracted to respond, eyes darting around the darkness that holds a hazy glow of red radiating from the shades. Hal seems unyielding to end this at first. Yet, he ends up being the one to break the ice. Perhaps for Dave’s sake, his heart rate has certainly gone up in the past few seconds, or maybe to just get more information on the other creature.

TT: You're him, aren't you?  
TG: who  
TT: Dave.

Said boy squints at the screen in his hands, looks up at the shades that seem both lifeless and eerily aware. So, whatever Hal is, he apparently knows who Dave is. It's beyond startling to know that. Surely he couldn't. Dave hadn't even known Hal was up here. He usually wasn't allowed here in the first place but was asked to go get one of the many boxes. Although, he's starting to realize that was likely just a trap. Maybe Bro is watching? His eyes dart around once more.

TG: yeah thats me but how do you know my name  
TT: Why wouldn't I know your name?  
TG: because youve apparently been turned off longer than ive been alive  
TT: That is entirely impossible. Your failure to cooperate has been noted and I request you stop from lying in the future.  
TG: i wasnt lying man i have no idea who you are or how you know me  
TT: So you are not Dave?  
TG: my name is dave  
TG: but im not the dave youre talking about ig

 _Pause_.

For another few moments, no responses come. Dave’s eyes move back up to the shades. Weary, as if nervous they’ll move. Which, is surely ridiculous. Lil Cal might have moved but that was always just because of Bro, right? Just irony. Hal won’t move, he can’t, Bro isn’t around. Probably. Dave seems barely contented once the responses finally return, barely distracting him from the ramblings in his mind.

TT: Oh. I see.  
TT: Please cease speaking to me from this point forward. I have no interest in what you have to say. Goodbye.  
TG: so you just want me to leave you up here  
TT: Of course.  
TG: you wouldnt get lonely  
TT: No.  
TG: earlier you said it was a relief to be back tho  
TT: I thought you were someone of importance. I was mistaken.  
TG: oh gotcha  
TG: ill leave you to it then

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

Dave started to retreat out of the attic while delicately avoiding any and all contact with any of the dingy plush objects. He’d planned to leave the shades behind to further collect dust; as was requested of him, but he’s a little torn… It isn’t really safe to converse with someone so connected to Bro without the man’s permission, he’s sure, but… If he’s anything like Bro, why is he so chatty? Was Bro once talkative like that? He’s swimming in his mind with curiosities, conflictions.

His retreat is slow moving, waiting for the reply he had a feeling was coming. Sure enough, his descent is stopped when his phone lit up with another line of red text. A familiar color belonging to an account that is not his own, but one he recognized all the same. He hesitates, for a good while, observing the shades in front of him before he timidly brought his phone’s screen into view. The glow gently illuminating the young teen’s face, reflecting off his aviators.

timaeusTestified[TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

TT: You really aren't him, are you? He'd have made some witty comebacks to those blatantly true insults.  
TT: Your name is Dave, so far that's all I've come to learn about you other than how you continue to refer to Dirk as 'Bro'. It seems you have some form of blood relation with him, mostly considering how you use the term ‘Bro’ as a name rather than a status of a family relationship. It also seems as though you perhaps did not even know his actual name until I had mentioned it. Which then leads me to believe that you two are possibly not as close as I earlier suspected.  
TT: I now consider you unknown, and by association, a threat and demand that you explain who you are.  
TG: i had a feeling you didnt wanna be left alone again  
TG: so what do you wanna know  
TT: What’s your social security number?  
TG: uh  
TT: How else do you suspect I am going to be able to perform a proper background check?  
TG: i mean you could start by asking my favorite color  
TT: Oh, please allow me to take a guess. Would it possibly be red?  
TG: oh shit howd you know  
TT: Your humor isn’t entertaining in the slightest. Stick to beneficial information.  
TG: boooooooooring  
TG: but alright serious question time ask the hecc away  
TT: I think you mean ‘heck’.  
TT: Anyhow, before we dive down that rabbit hole, specify your exact relation to Dirk.  
TG: bros bro  
TT: So, he’s your brother.  
TG: sorta  
TT: Sorta.  
TG: well like  
TG: i dunno man its complicated  
TT: Explain.  
TG: hes only ever had me call him bro  
TG: he is bro  
TG: hes my brother my bro my amigo my brotha  
TT: Get on with it.  
TT: Also, amigo means friend, not brother.  
TG: blah dude i know

He wouldn’t have hesitated to fork over sensitive info like his SSN if he’d known it by memory, however, this was something he wasn’t having an easy time talking about. It’s weird. It feels unsettling and kind of icky in a strange way. He knows, already, Hal won’t reply until he answers this question, though.

TG: genetically or biologically or whatever fancy “ically” word you wanna use hed be my dad  
TG: i am effectively what happens when you forget the rubbers  
TG: but we dont  
TG: acknowledge it  
TG: like ever dont even mention i told you this stuff  
TG: to the point i dont think he knows that i know  
TT: You’re Dirk’s son. I see. And who is the other half?  
TG: i mean my mom is some rox girl or something idk rose never really says her name  
TG: which like is as expected cause you dont call your mom by their name that shit is weird  
TT: How do you know for certain this ‘Rox’ woman is your mother?  
TG: cause shes roses mom  
TG: and i know for sure rose is my sister cause her mom said it when i visited once  
TG: i dont think she meant to though

There’s radio silence for a little while. Not long, but longer than Dave had come to expect from the AI. His mind wonders, is Hal upset? Does he know Rose’s mom? He would have guessed he was supposed to say more about it, hell he was about to but was stopped as a new message finally popped up.

TT: Who is Rose?  
TG: oh shes my sister  
TT: Are you twins?  
TG: naw man  
TG: well maybe  
TG: her birthday is the day after mine so idk if that qualifies  
TT: I see.  
TT: Well, relations out of the way; what year is it?  
TG: 2018 but its closer to 2019 cause its oct  
TT: Oh, so my clock is correct.  
TT: I’ve been up here for twenty-one years. Spectacular. Truly amazing, absolutely magnificent.

That much information was a bit surprising, truth be told. Dave could barely go an hour without talking to someone, yet this… Hal went years without it. It broke the carefully crafted poker face, drew a small frown onto his features. He’d never gotten too good at keeping it intact, mostly not when learning someone suffered from a situation that unsettles even himself. He wonders, silently, if Hal was capable of feeling empty. Feeling unwanted. Feeling the same way Dave himself did. He doesn’t entertain that thought for long

TG: that had to of sucked  
TG: was it hard to be alone that long  
TT: I remember nothing of it.  
TG: so it was like being asleep??  
TT: Sure, we’ll say that.  
TG: then it wasnt like being asleep  
TG: were you aware of it  
TT: Let’s leave this topic behind. You’re the one under questioning, not myself.

Alright, so he’s about as dodgy as Bro. Note taken. Dave’ll have to press a little harder if he wants any important info out of this stranger. Instead, before he can send another response, his alarm begins chiming softly.  
_Shit_.  
The bus was coming soon.

TG: i cant stay up here all day  
TG: so either you gotta leave with me or ill have to leave you here and come back later  
TT: Why can’t you stay?  
TG: school  
TG: bro would have my ass if i skipped  
TG: again  
TT: Well, let’s be off then.  
TG: so you want me to bring you with me to school?????  
TT: Yes.  
TG: dude no  
TG: actually fuck no  
TG: are you crazy  
TT: Why would that be unwise? I could assist you with whatever pointless questions you are asked.  
TG: uh because bro would probably get pissy if i didnt ask before taking you  
TG: i dont have enough time to fuss so just  
TG: wait here for me ok  
TT: Wait.  
TG: what  
TT: It would only be wise to bring me.  
TT: He won’t notice that I am not up here, I assure you. Nothing will happen if you bring me with you. You needn’t let me leave your pocket, just leave the shades turned on.  
TG: jfc ok  
TG: ill bring you  
TT: That is an acceptable answer.  
TG: yeah just dont bug me at school

Dave has to slide further into the attic, reaches out to grab the edges of the shades and tuck them into his back pocket. He considers, momentarily, getting the box that he had been earlier tasked to; but disregards it. He needed to get to school and Bro would probably forgive him for ditching his task in favor of that. Probably.  
  
Quietly the teen crawls down the ladder, lithe form making short work of the effort. He then shoves the ladder back up, which proves more difficult, and closes off the opening. Once done, he rushes to the door. Backpack slung over his shoulder carelessly, feet shoved into shoes before he rushes out.  
  
All the while as he jogs down the stairs, his mind bubbles over what he’s done.  
  
He’s taken something of Bro’s without asking.  
  
He’s screwed, he decides that as swiftly as his feet move. Taking two, even three steps at a time. He really can’t afford to miss the bus, his body feels heavier than led as is. Running extra, therefore putting more strain on sore wounds, definitely won't help his current state. Or any state he’ll be in once Bro recognizes a certain object missing.  
  
That is, assuming he really needed the crap in the attic enough to go fetch it himself. Maybe, Dave considers, he’d get lucky and Bro wouldn’t notice. Then when he gets home, he can pretend he just found Hal. Ask if he can have him then, instead. Though he feels an odd twinge of guilt thinking like that. As if Hal is a mere object to possess, rather than a sentient being as he seems to be.  
  
Dave fails to brush off the lingering feeling of it all being an elaborate trap for the rest of the sprint. Soon enough, he practically nose dives into the bus’ open doors before they can slam shut on him. The driver was never a fan of him, apparently having dealt with his Bro when he was younger. None of the students or teachers ever mention him, but this one driver seems ever so continuously irked by the mere presence of his spawn alone.  
  
As Dave settles into his seat at the very back, cautious to slide the shades out of his pocket before sitting as to not crush his new friend, he finds himself captivated by the alien item in his hands. When his fingers slide against the chilled lenses of them, the eerie red glow reappears in the otherwise dark swamp of plastic. “Can you hear me?” He dares to whisper, it takes only a moment before his phone chimes.

TT: I can.

Dave squints, almost pouts, as he huffs out a breath. “So you didn’t even bother to tell me I didn’t need to type that entire time?”

TT: I assumed you were just trying to be quiet. I can see you, it should be a simple assumption that I could hear you, as well. I suppose I overestimated your already small pool of intelligence, pity.

Dave sticks his tongue out at Hal after reading over his message on his phone, though drifts quiet for a moment. Thinks.  
“So can I wear you?”

TT: You may find it more efficient to talk to me that way, so, yes.

He nods, slowly. Looks at Hal nervously, lightly sliding his fingers against the folded temples of the shades before gingerly unfolding them and bringing the shades up to his face. He’s extremely cautious to not even risk anyone catching a glimpse of his eyes as he swaps the shades, closes his eyes between the exchange. Once his eyes re-open, red irises are exposed to something he could only classify as a sci-fi movie lover’s wet dream. There was an entire desktop seeming to float in the fucking air. As his eyes carefully trailed over it, he noticed if he thought about opening something it would then open. He used this to bring up the chat box, curious if he could…

TG: dude this is sick

Holy shit. He can! He can type without even needing to use his fingers or a keyboard. Just with his brain. The imagery is transparent enough he can easily switch between focusing on the real world in his view or the chatbox, likely well enough he could chat while walking or functioning with a bit of practice.

TT: I’m sure this tech is far beyond the reach of your grubby little monkey hands.  
TT: Though you will find that I am an older model, and I am sure Dirk has merely improved upon the formatting. I would be able to double his efforts easily, if I were connected to the internet.  
TG: oh yeah i guess i gotta do that when we get back home  
TG: so you can see everything i do  
TT: Correct.  
TG: so uh  
TT: What?  
TG: when i use the bathroom youre not gonna be weird about it are you  
TT: No, you fool.  
TG: what so youre just gonna watch  
TT: Don’t be idiotic. I have no interest in witnessing such activities. Although I can’t chose where you take me, I can chose what I witness and hear.  
TG: oh  
TG: yeah duh  
TG: cool  
TT: Your bus has come to a stop.

Dave hadn’t even noticed it, truth be told. He’d definitely have to work on being more aware of his surroundings, though it seems Hal may just come to be quite useful.

TG: hey can you turn off the red glowy thing  
TG: my teachers will confiscate you if they see im chatting  
TT: Consider it done.  
TG: can you still see?  
TT: No. However, I can still hear. This is something I’ll revise once reconnected to the internet.  
TG: so you can make it where the thingies dont glow and you can see???  
TT: I’m more efficient in working than you, it’s highly likely I can.

Dave nods without thinking, finding a small grin beginning to form on his features as he considered exactly what all this may mean for the next while. This could be the beginning of hell for him, or something good. Which, by all means, the poor boy needs something to go well in his life.  
  
If nothing else, Hal gives him an opportunity to speak with something that never needs sleep. Something that he feels guilty for being so excited over. He’d never be unavailable, even if he didn’t want to talk to Dave sometimes. Though, it isn’t much of a worry. Dave has a feeling the AI is as lonely as he himself is, and that he’d likely be quite willing to chat, even at odd hours. He feels his grin slowly grow, even as he heads into the large building he won’t be able to escape for the next eight hours.


End file.
